John 13:34-35 says “I give you a new command. Love one another.
You must love one another, just as I have loved you. If you love one
another, everyone will know you are my disciples.”
In light of recent events in our country, I wonder about how Jesus
was able to love all, even those who harmed others and if I am able
to carve out space in my heart for both the victims and victimizers in
such hard situations.
It brings me to a book I am enjoying with the Women's Book Group
at church called Tattoos on the Heart: the Power of Boundless
Compassion by Gregory Boyle. In chapter three he tells of a story
where he is teaching a class in a prison to a group of gang members
and he realizes that they use the words sympathy, empathy and
compassion interchangeably. He asks them to define them. They are
quickly able to define sympathy and empathy (feeling bad for one's
situation & relating to one's situation), but they are slow to define
compassion. Finally one of the inmates says “That’s what Jesus did.
I mean, Compassion … IS … God.” The author goes on to say "This
was how Jesus was moved, from the entirety of his being. He was
“moved with pity” when he saw folks who seemed like “sheep without
a shepherd.” He had room for everybody in his compassion." OK, so
this is where our women's group started to struggle ... pity? That
word seems like such a low thing, a way of looking down on someone,
so we had to look it up to make sure we had the right definition.
Dictionary.com defines pity as "sympathetic or kindly sorrow evoked
by the suffering, distress, or misfortune of another, often leading one
to give relief or aid or to show mercy." That changed our view. It's not
looking down on someone and their circumstances; it is both being
sympathetic to one's situation and acting on it.
Let’s get back to carving out space in our hearts to express the same
compassion Jesus has shown us.
Father Boyle tells us of a 12 year old, named Betito that comes to
visit him on a regular basis from the neighborhood middle school.
He is involved in gang life, but trying to also be a good person. One
day when he is in his neighborhood, a car comes through and shoots
around the neighborhood, killing Betito. Father Boyle talks about
how difficult it was for him to reconcile his feelings when he found
out that he also knew Betito’s shooters. He says "When they were
caught and I found I knew them, it was excruciating not to be able to
hate them. Sheep without a shepherd ... But, are they less worthy of
compassion than Betito? I will admit that the degree of difficulty here
is exceedingly high. Kids I love killing kids I love. There is nothing neat
in carving space for both in our compassion."
So how do we do this carving? As I thinking about this and talk to
those around me it occurs to me that we are not perfect but, are asked
to stretch ourselves and yearn to be more like Jesus. So maybe I can't
completely say I am able to understand what makes people think it is
ever OK to harm another, but I can have compassion for how they got
there. I pity those who are raised in ways that enable them to think
that the only answer to their situation is to harm another human; to
limit another humans life in anyway. I love my neighbor through the vastness of God's love and by doing that I am slowly carving out space in my heart to love all of God's children.
